“It’s November 1999 and I am two months away from my fortieth birthday. I’m sure everyone is thinking that I am having a midlife crisis, a bit of a breakdown, ‘let her get it out of her system’ I’m sure they think, she will be back with her tail between her legs and all will be well, the incident brushed under the carpet never to be mentioned again. But I am on an airplane high over the USA with England far behind me, and I know that I will never be going back. I have just walked out on my husband and three children.”
In her 83,000-word memoir Paths, Anne tells her story of how she came to the point where leaving was the only thought screaming in her head and how one good friend gave her permission to think the unthinkable. She explores the different paths she took and people she met along the way that shaped her and gave her the tools to finally - in her darkest hour - change her life.
Anne's journey deals with her ex husband’s alcoholism and mental illness and her own fall into depression and the complete loss of confidence in being a mother. This is also her story of how in the midst of chaos she started her career with horses, took a vacation to Arizona where she found love and finally experienced what it felt like to be loved. Over time she built a new relationship with her children who all in their own time came to join her in her new life in the USA.
Over the years Anne has hunted for a book that tells her story, but as she searched the bookshelves it became clear that this is a story that is never told. After years of encouragement from her children she decided to write her story to help others understand what would make a mother leave, and hopefully help other women who may be facing the same terrifying thought.
Anne and two of her children were interviewed for the podcast Mother is a Question, by PRX. It's a two part story that can be found via the Mother is a Question website, or wherever you access your podcasts.
Why Can't a Mother Think That?
Part 1: "Can you imagine leaving your child?" Anne asks, "No, of course not. Because none of us do. Nor did I, until four days before I did it." Here's part one of her story.
Part 2: We pick up with the story of Anne, a day after she told her kids that she was so unhappy, so lost that to figure things out, she had to get on a plane and put five thousand miles between herself and her life.
Anne is currently seeking publication for her memoir.
Contact:
pathsmemoir@gmail.com
Anne was born in London, England and today lives in beautiful Roanoke, Virginia with her husband, two scruffy terriers, eight chickens and all three of her children nearby. After a successful career as a horse riding instructor she is now retired and gets her exercise instead from hiking the dogs, volunteering with neighborhood litter clean up, and using her English green thumb to plant every available inch of space in her garden.